Domesticated Bliss

I know I should have waited, but I just couldn't help myself. I normally weigh in on Mondays, but yesterday I was able to fit into a size 18 pants from Old Navy (when I started I was in a size 24 and couldn't even get the 18's zipped up), and at class last night one of the girls commented that I looked like I had lost another 5 pounds since she saw me last week Thursday, so I stepped on the scale this morning and got a very happy surprise. On monday I had lost 1.9 pounds and was down to 245.3, but I also knew I was probably retaining water from some of the stuff I had eaten over the weekend. This morning I was down another 3.6 pounds, putting me at 241.7 (down from 262 when I started) and giving me a total of 20.3 since I started on livestrong.com 8 weeks ago. I am halfway to my goal and I still have 12 1/2 weeks left. Yay me! Also, Rudy commented last night about how good I look (and especially how good my boobs look... which I attribute to the many chest presses and push-ups I've been doing since this class started).

So first off, here are my stats after 5 weeks of Move It To Lose It Class (only a few days later than I said I would post them): I lost 2 pounds last week, putting me down 12 pounds since the class started and almost 17 since I started counting calories. I lost 3 3/4" around my waist. 2 3/4 around my hips and and abs, 1 1/2 around my bust, and almost an inch around my neck. I feel pretty darn good about those numbers. 

I am halfway done with my MITLI class today. Tonight we are doing a mini assessment to see what we have achieved. I'm really looking forward to it. On top of that, the diet restriction, including "no alcohol" were lifted on Tuesday (with the stipulation of choosing the best options possible), so of course I went out for a friends birthday and had a glass of wine. I'm not much of a drinker, but man, that glass of riesling was one of the best I've had, and I did not order a burger, or fries, and I only had two small bites of one of Rudy's onion rings. I've decided I'm going to stick to the no sugar/no white flour as much as possible because I do feel a lot better without it, though the hamburger buns I bought for tonight do have enriched flour in them... but they are only 80 calories, low in sodium, and high in fiber, so I figure its ok. Wish me luck on the weigh-in. Will report back tomorrow.

I took my diet first free day yesterday and can I just say, it wasn't worth it. My husbands parents were in town for his birthday, so I planned for going out to dinner with them and having cake afterwards. I worked out extra hard in the morning to burn more calories in anticipation of the evening and I ate a light breakfast and lunch. We went out for family style chinese (my husbands choice), which means that we started with soup, which wasn't too bad in calories, but then they brought out the rest of the meal. I had an egg roll, a crab cheese, half a piece of shrimp toast, and some sweet and sour sauce for an appetizer, then about 3/4 cup of white rice, 3/4 cup of happy family, 1/2 cup of beef and scallops in brown sauce, 3 pieces of sweet and sour chicken, and 2 small pieces of duck for dinner. Flaming fried bananas were brought out for desert and by that time I was so full, but I still ate the banana on the inside. Afterwards I just felt yuk. I haven't felt that way in over 4 weeks and I don't think I want to feel that way again. After totaling up what I ate, I had almost 1500 calories in that one meal. I still stayed within my calories for the day, but barely, and this morning I feel guilty that I ate all the calories I burned with exercise yesterday. I could have made much better choices last night. Instead I'm going to go work my butt off at the gym this afternoon in hopes that I can makeup for what I did yesterday and still get a good drop at the scale this week. Ugh, why did I do this to myself? Oh ya, because I tend to be an all or nothing person. I really need to learn moderation.

It's been 18 week since we decided to put all efforts to become parents on hold for 6 months. That means we are over halfway done with the waiting. In just 15 short weeks we will start fertility meds again. I still can't believe how fast the past 3 months have gone by. I took a look back at the goals I set for myself back in June, and I am well on my way to achieving them. 

Last night our trainer wasn't in class. She had a friends wedding to be at, so instead she had another trainer weigh us in and left instructions for us to do a dedication workout. We needed to choose a person to dedicate our workout to, then from the time we stepped off the scale until 7:30 we needed to keep our bodies moving, and afterwards we had to journal about who we dedicated our workout to and why. Below is my journal entry: 

I dedicated my workout today to my best friend Emily. Even from 270 miles away, she has supported me and cheered me on. When I’m down, I can always go to her. When I need to talk, she is always on the other end of the line, and when I need a challenge to keep me motivated, she provides one. She has challenged me to do a 5K with her the middle of December, and that has spurred me to push even harder in each of my workouts. My workout tonight was a half hour on the track using the couch to 5K-beginner walk/run that I downloaded on my ipod, then a half hour on the elliptical machine, followed by 10 minutes of stretching. I dedicated this workout to Emily because I will be ready for her challenge and prove to myself I can do whatever I put my mind to.

I really hate the month of October, which is really sad because it used to be one of my favorite months. I love when the leaves change color on the trees and the temperature gets cooler so you just want to curl up under a heavy blanket and read a book. But I hate it now, because October is also the month that my Dad passed away, and every year around this time I get all weepy. I start to think of him more and random things will trigger a memory. The rest of the year I can talk about him and think about him without crying, but in October I start tearing up in my car and at work, and totally random things will set me off. A week from today it will be 5 years and for some reason, that number makes this year even harder. There are so many thing I have done now that he would have loved have been a part of. My wedding, fixing up my house, throwing my Mom her 50th birthday party. The most disappointing will be that my future kids won't get to know their grandfather. He wasn't always the easiest to get along with, but I miss him, this time of year, more than ever.

I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into just yet. I'm a little apprehensive about the whole thing, but also excited to see if I can really do it. What am I doing you ask... my best friend Emily saw the list of goals I posted recently about my MITLI class. One of the goals was to be able to run 5k (3.1 miles). I listed that as an arbitrary goal, figuring if I could do it around the gym track or on a treadmill, that would be kinda cool, but she had recently run her first 5k and being the friend that she is, wanted to help me along. 

Ok, I swear if I hear another pregnancy announcement I am going to scream! So far in the past 3 days I have found out about 4 baby's on the way. Most recent is a good friend of mine from high school. I know I was the one who decided to put off IVF for 6 months, but come on, does EVERYONE have to get pregnant in those 6 months while I'm waiting?

I feel liberated! Rudy and I rented a dumpster this weekend and went to town on the house. We actually filled the thing. I still can't believe we had that much junk just laying around. Originally we were just going to make a bunch of trips to the dump over the course of a few weeks, but the convinience of a dumpster won out and I am so glad it did. Its feels amazing to just go from room to room and dump anything that isn't useful. This is all part or my mission. I will have this house in maintainable order before we undergo IVF. We are at 16 weeks and that time is going to fly.